I will begin by saying, I go into a day all armoured up because nobody owes you civility!
On Sunday the 22nd, I was in the kitchen at about noon I believe and due to my negligence I didn’t open the windows. While cooking, the fumes must have become overwhelming because I experienced apnea that must have lasted about 30 seconds to a minute and while in a state of panic, I rushed up the stairs for my inhaler. Apnea, for those who aren’t in the medical field, is an absence of breathing. I unfortunately am asthmatic but I’ve only experienced apnea twice, it’s more dyspnea which is difficulty breathing.
Anyway, I couldn’t proceed with that cooking because I was shaken and panicked. As is my nature, I put it on my WhatsApp status, something about omg I almost just died because I was trying to make food. Lots of messages poured in, “Oh, are you good?”, “Please o, get well soon o”, “Go to the hospital” and such and such! Thoughtful and concerned acquaintances and friends. However, one person called me and insisted I not return to cooking since the person was well aware that was the cause. Out of concern for the fact that I was alone and would have no real assistance should I have another attack, the person offered to send food which I could store and simply heat up so I don’t have to cook for days! I said no, I have a lot of things I could eat without necessarily cooking, by God’s Grace food has never and would never be a problem.
He insisted and I said no, I was fine! This was a phone conversation, so of course it’s my word on this, however, a conversation from the next day, I will add. Now, despite the fact that I turned down the offer to have food sent to me and even the offer to send a driver to take me to the hospital because he is a doctor, I was still very touched at the thoughtfulness and the sensitivity. This is not to undermine the care of those who didn’t call, or those who said the different things they said, but he went an extra mile to think of how I might cope alone in the future since cooking was triggering attacks. That level of foresight and regard for my wellbeing was foreign and very appreciated and as the vocal person that I am, I tweeted about it. As God is my witness, I tweeted that with a light and a joking demeanour, talking about how I endorse dating older men in their 30s and onwards. To this point, I added that no younger man had ever asked if he could send me food and that’s the truth.
However, this was misconstrued as me praising older men for what I can get from them and I found that shocking because if I wanted to be with a man for what I could get, would that thing be food? I kept asking myself, do these people think I’m a pauper that they refuse to see the clear message I’m getting at? Do I truly need to educate graduates on innuendos and context? Do they really not see that this is about thoughtfulness and sensitivity, which I thought was plain. So all of the vitriol, instablog brouhaha and space gossip, which I was being told about second hand, was honestly just funny to me. I do not expect common sense from everyone, so I honestly was not fazed by the fact that I might be insulted for a difference of opinion and a personal preference. What did bother me was the fact that people really read that and thought it was about food! Our educational system might need a complete overhaul from where I’m standing, because respectfully, that is an unacceptable level of lack of comprehension and critical thinking.
There was not a single person who asked for context, or for my thought process. Not a single person wanted to know why I had said that. They all simply wanted to troll and say mean things which is fine, I definitely disagree with people a lot on social media and I’m never scared to voice my opinion, but I am absolutely certain that it can never be found that I was insulting anyone that didn’t insult me first or deriding anyone for an opinion that wasn’t offensive to a group or sect. My tweet mentioned no age group, but the under 30s took it personal, as though it was a testament to them being useless, a thing I never said. They took it personal and chose to twist it into ugly things because the agenda must take hold. I learnt people thought I was endorsing dating married men, and I wonder where they saw that. Others said I was depending on men for food and that made me laugh, it’s the most silly thing anyone could say. But, as I said at the start, I wake up each day and put on my armour, because nobody owes me civility.
I will say this though for the record, there is not a single male in my life, or who was in my life that would ever tag me materialistic. On the contrary, they would call me the least materialistic person on the face of the planet, given how many things I repeatedly turn down. Things that go way, wayyy beyond food. I found it insulting that for a person in my position, who is doing her second degree and paying her way through accommodation, feeding, upkeep and the likes could be seen as one who couldn’t feed herself or would choose a man because of food. I cannot insist that everyone have a critical mind, the world needs fools, that it may distinguish the wise. That’s why even scripture always says “he who has an ear” because in the metaphorical sense of the word, not everyone can have “an ear”.
So, while you take this time to once again bash feminists and refuse to put your thinking cap on just to push the agenda, know that I CANNOT BE BULLIED! I said what I said in a light manner and if anyone took offence that’s on them for not understanding before jumping to conclusions. My preference is my choice and I WILL NOT APOLOGISE FOR IT. I find younger men, who I have interacted with, for the most part to be thoughtless and insensitive and they proved it with the vileness and lack of comprehension on this tweet that held no offence. I have amazing friends in their 20s and so there would never be a time or reason where I would say all younger men are trashy, but I find older men to be more thoughtful and that is my reality and I stand by it.
This write up is to clear everyone who thinks they can have me cower or run off social media, because a million people against me could not faze me. All of your insults and laughs behind my back (since that’s really all they could do) cannot faze me either. I know what I said and I know what I meant and I STAND BY IT.
Inspired thoughts of Torie 