HE BOUGHT ME SPAGHETTI AND THOUGHT HE HAD EARNED THE SUGARBOX

I promised to discuss about the 10 guys we date in our twenties. Here is number 1, THE GUY WHO ASSUMES. Now, I seem to have weird tales to tell when it comes to my dates. Anyhow, maybe it would help one or two men out there to sit up and get their heads out of their asses. I love Abuja, way more than Lagos because it is serene, has classy people and doesn’t really have that discriminatory mainland/island vibe. That is important because less fakeness..note I said less not that the fakeness is nonexistent.

Anyway, I got asked out to lunch by this guy am close to. Like he’s a friend of a friend but we are all cool, or were, because we studied the same thing in school and so we shared interests. He was also really smart but I later realised he was only book smart, a shame really.

On this lovely day he picked me up in one amazing benz like that..damn that car was fine and I know he did not borrow it. His dad is an ex-governor. Anyway as per friends the rapport was easy, we gisted and laughed about our mutual friend and it was really cool to step out and just relax. He took me to this lovely place in abuja..I won’t say the name because I don’t want to cast the bobo too much.
I ordered their shrimp spaghetti and it was ah-freaking-mazing…My curse is my stomach fills up pretty fast so I could not finish it am still angry about that. After the lunch me I thought ehn you have taken me out and shown me a nice time like you promised so take me home abi?? Wrong.

He hadnt even gotten started. He talked about one of his friends who we bought loved and that the guys house was nearby. I said by all means lead the way, it was after all still early in the day. We got to the house and I had a great time, we gisted and laughed and watched our friend prepare dinner. Fun fun fun right? Wrong.

Uncle that took me out said we should go upstairs and watch a movie and leave uncle that we came to see to cook his dinner. It was just eba o..dunno why we had to leave but as I had enormous respect for this brainy I had no objections..matter of fact I was very free..we flopped down on the bed of dearest friend in the kitchen and uncle turned the ac to the highest.. thank God at that point my bronchi pneumonia wasn’t so serious. I for jus die.

Anyhow the movie was great but I didnt enjoy it because uncle started rubbing me. I was not understanding. He said I appeared cold..lmaoo..so am cold you dinnor gimme blanket or reduce the ac or turn the damn thing off you start touching me?

I honestly tried not to freak out based on I refused to believe he was a perv. This I could not do when he refused to stop touching me. I got up and started heading downstairs and he blocked my path..haaaa panic alert.  Did I mention he is very buff? He is my friend’s gym trainer. Now have you seen me? I am small..so panic I did. He asked what was wrong why wasn’t I flowing..haa flow ke? Wani irin flow kuma..ku ji magana fa..

I said I wanted to go downstairs and check on the cook. He tried to kiss me and I fled down the stairs..why bother conversing and reasoning with a horny man. I went downstiars and from the look the guy cooking gave me it was obvious he was surprised at how I fled down the stairs. He asked “R u okay? I said yeah and he gave me the I know you are not ok look. Maybe he thought it was an arrangement between the friend and I but the way I fled down he was confused.

Anyway I waited down there till the big baby came down..maybe he took the time to get rid of his hard-on. He took me home..thankfully as I hadn’t come out with my card..last time I made that mistake. The ride home was silent but he did apologise for making things awkward. What I wanted to know was, what even gave him that impression that he could take me out for a nice lunch and sex would follow. This is one such guy you meet in your twenties. The one who assumes..stay tuned for the next type of guy we ladies tend to meet in our twenties.

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