My mother bless her heart is the type of woman that has no problem freaking out. She would freak out by your complexion if she thinks you are tampering with it. She would freak out by your weight if she thinks you might be dieting to fashion. She would freak out by your grammar if she feels it is not up to par. Lol my mother is a freak machine and you can be sure when she finds out any of us are ill and did not inform anyone she freaks out majorly.
I was sick once as a child and it was debilitating and traumatizing. It was pneumonia and suffice it to say i almost lost my little life from that. When i went for service and fell drastically ill to the point where i would lie in my bed alone at home and think i might die, the results were the same. In the sense that i got diagnosed with bronchi pneumonia, you see i am quite prone to cold. After this severe illness began i told my sister who told my mother and all hell broke lose. She ordered me to redeploy but then i am just as stubborn as she is if not more stubborn and that’s why we used to always be at loggerheads. She freaked out to mars and back.
While would you keep such a situation to yourself she shouted at me over the phone. Keep in mind that i was sick here and i was getting shouted at. My dad on the other hand calmly prayed for me and that was it but no my mother had no chill. I heard not the last of it. Recently my sisters ulcer started, its weird but she and i have ulcer, hers had gone but seemed to be recurring. My mother again…freaked out lol. She ordered me to perform deliverance on my sister. We have that sort of background.
I have always been the keep to myself kind of person. I wouldn’t share my problems easily and this is why i love writing because it is my way of letting out so much of the things i keep in. So before i tell someone am in pain or sick it is really hard. Mostly you might catch me in tears or writhing in pain before i would let the cat out of the bag. So the whole point of this write up is what i am building up to. My brother was recently scolding me on my habit of keeping things in. Lol Shulnom and his dramatic ways. He was giving me this speech that everyone likes to give. The “a problem shared is a problem solved” speech and i laughed. I told him this “who says i don’t share my problems? I just chose to share with divinity and not humanity”.
I was waiting to see him argue with me on that one. He obviously couldn’t. He let it go. I don’t like to tell humans my problems but oh i tell the divine. Am the type that prays unconsciously. I sit beside a suspicious looking person and am already covering myself in the blood. I have a nasty dream and from the dream i am already shabaching. I am writhing in pain and i am pleading the blood and calling on the divine for help. Now it is not that i do not need help from humans or i cannot talk about my issues but i was made a private person and there are very few people i share with.
I would rather share with the divine. After all if i say i have ulcer pains the advice would be what i already know as a medically inclined person. The only good part when it comes to my family is that they would pray especially my mother. This is great as most times your faith might need a boost from someone with an even greater faith. However when i do not share i still share. I simply chose to share with the divine, my creator, my healer. The one who knoweth the end from the beginning. I chose to have a one on one conversation with He who always listens, who always has my best interests at heart.